Crude comedy coming out from NNPC Towers.

By Chris Adetayo 

Sometime in 2003, I sat in one of the boardrooms of Shell Nigeria at a business meeting. This was at the then Shell HQ in Lagos (a year or 2 before they moved the HQ to PH).

During the meeting, the most senior Shell official shared several slides and talked about their operations. One of the slides he shared was on illegal oil bunkering. He showed us pictures (similar to the ones now making the rounds). He pointedly told us (there were maybe 2 or 3 of us from my organisation at the meeting) that they know and see these things but are hampered from taking action. He left a lot unsaid (“let’s not go into details”, when I tried to probe). But he left us in no doubt that - 

1] it’s not an operations run by rag tag folks

2] there’s official knowledge and complicity 

3] It’s endemic 

That’s almost 20 years ago.

So imagine the hilarity of watching the NNPC Managing Director telling us, a few days ago, that they recently “discovered” that an illegal pipeline had been used to siphon crude for 9 years. The man must be a Mungo Park incarnate, seeing as he’s discovering what most folks have known for decades. 

The funniest part is seeing him and the Chief of Defence Staff strutting their stuff in the swamps of the Niger Delta. What comedy!!!

Anyways, we are the happiest people on earth. Nothing can shake us. Not even this. By next week, another scandal will come up and we will refocus attention. 

For now, enjoy the crude comedy coming out from NNPC Towers.
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